STORY OF THE WEEK: 43 Lessons From My 43 Years

Wrinkles, Wisdom, and the Courage to Wear a Speedo

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Every now and then, my wife enjoys teasing me about how I am the elder statesman in our relationship — a whopping two weeks ahead, to be precise. It all began when I hit the grand age of 30, and she was still hanging on to the last shreds of her twenties. She’d playfully boast about being in her prime while I was apparently hurtling down the slope of my thirties.

Fast forward to my 39th birthday, and oh boy, was she thrilled! You see, in Australia where I live, 38.5 is the median age, and as soon as I hit 39, I officially found myself on the “old side” of the population. Meanwhile, my wife still had two weeks to revel in her youth. Passing the median age triggered an uncomfortable revelation: I’m now older than 50% of the folks in my country. In other words, more than half of Australia has been born during my life time.

When I crossed over to the “old side,” I thought, why not jot down some of the profound lessons I’ve learned? Well, life had other plans, and that article idea sat on the back burner for four whole years. Lesson learned: life seems to speed up as you go along.

Now, here I am at 43, wondering what the heck happened.

Am I wiser?

Eh, debatable.

Regardless, I present to you the 43 Lessons From My 43 Years — half a lifetime of wisdom. Take these to heart, and they might save you some heart ache:

Lesson One

Crawl before you walk.

Okay, so I’ll admit that I don’t remember being one, but let’s be honest, I probably fell on my little diapered butt more times than I’d like to admit. It was the humble beginning of understanding that real progress often comes with a plenty of stumbles.

Lesson Two

Do not touch the hot stove.

While I might not recall my first steps, a searing encounter with a scalding stove is a definitely a vivid recollection. It was a harsh introduction to the reality that life’s most enduring and effective lessons often unfold in the classroom of pain.

Lesson Three

It’s okay to ask, “Why?”

By three, my curiosity was in full swing, marked by a relentless pursuit of the elusive “Why?” There’s something magical about the innocence of asking questions that adults often forget to ask.

Lesson Four

Always go to the toilet before bed.

At four, my nightly ritual included this sage piece of advice. It was a golden rule that spared me many a midnight adventure down darkened hallways past all the monsters, to the bathroom. Now I’m in my forties, the wisdom of this lesson has circled back with newfound appreciation.

Lesson Five

Learn negotiation early.

Fast forward to five, and negotiation skills became my secret weapon. Whether it was sharing toys or convincing Mom that bedtime could be pushed back by at least 15 minutes, I began to learn the art of bargaining for a better deal.

Lesson Six

Do not try to cut your own hair.

(Or your sister’s hair, for that matter). Try as we might, there are some things that we were never meant to do for ourselves. At some point, we have to rely on others to help us out.

Lesson Seven

If in doubt, blame the dog.

At seven, I discovered a handy trick: when in doubt, blame the dog. The dog knocked over the vase. The dog ate my homework. Best of all, the dog will still be your friend at the end of the day.

Lesson Eight

Try not to screw up. This will meet the expectations of a few folks and leave everyone else pleasantly surprised.

Growing up in the conservative evangelical church, I was taught from a very young age about the black-and-white world of sin. I was told that I was inherently wicked… apparently. Therefore, at the age of eight, the goal of life was to try to be a “good boy,” and try not to make God or your parents angry.

This lesson, instead of empowering, became a stifling constraint, overshadowing my journey with anxiety and the “fear of God.” It set my off in the pursuit of an elusive perfection that never truly existed.

But of course… I didn’t learn that until later.

Lesson Nine

Master the art of snack-sharing; it’s the key to lasting friendships.

Cake.

Bring cake.

Share cake.

Make friends.

Simple.

Lesson Ten

Be kind to your teachers.

They deserve it.

Not only that, those who are in charge are the ones who ultimately decide how far you go in life, and how quickly you get there. This has the potential to be both a good and a bad thing. Life is much easier however, when you are well-liked by the people above you.

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Lesson Eleven

Don’t go into Mom and Dad’s room when the door is closed.

To this day, I think that Mom and Dad believe they got away with it — that I had no idea what they were up to when they scrambled for the covers and, in panicked tones, ordered me out of the room.

My children will never need to learn this lesson. I had a lock installed on our door before they were old enough to reach the door handle.